Reflections on Christian Community: Permanence, Realism, and Value

1. Permanence

What if our friendships and fellowship in Christ were truly permanent? What if we are called to grow in the steady environment of others?

When I was ordained into the Anglican clergy, I was reminded that this calling is for life—and that I do not get to choose who my fellow clergy are. That’s part of the cost of covenantal community.

In contrast, many relationships today are transactional. If the other person is difficult or inconvenient, we quietly back away. If our connections come with an “expiry date,” we instinctively hold back part of ourselves, never fully giving or fully receiving. With this temporal posture, community becomes about influence and status—until the inevitable “exit door” beckons when things go awry.

But what if Christian holiness includes learning to accept the people God has placed us with—now and for eternity? What if our growth lies not in constant stimulation or novelty, but in the unglamorous commitment to stability, and in the slow grace of staying?

2. Realism, Not Idealism

This kind of permanence must be tempered by a sober realism.

Bonhoeffer wrote:“The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God’s grace speedily shatters such dreams… He who loves his dream of community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter…”

We are all sinners saved by grace. Community will disappoint. People will sin against us, and we will sin against them. Discipline may sometimes be necessary to restore both the individual and the community (1 Tim. 5:20). But even in failure and brokenness, grace remains our common bond. Without it, permanence is impossible.

3. Of the Highest Value

We often instinctively place family relationships above church community. Influenced by modern culture—especially a certain idealised American view of marriage—we may believe that family is the pinnacle of Christian life. Those who are single, by choice or otherwise, are sometimes made to feel as though they are living incomplete lives.

But this view is not biblical.

Our families are temporal. Our spiritual family in Christ is eternal. This doesn’t mean neglecting family responsibilities—Scripture warns against such distortion. But if we prize only our biological family and disregard the church, we are simply protecting our own legacy, not living for God’s Kingdom. How can we glorify the Lord if we neglect His body, the Church—our brothers and sisters in Christ?

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This reflection has grown longer than I expected. The rest, perhaps, will be for another time—whether in writing or from the pulpit. I know I’ve said some things that may sound provocative. But if it leads to reflection, conversation and some debate, then I’ve done enough.

After all, this is “The Vicar Writes”, not “God Writes”!

Grace and peace.